I woke up this morning and my pregnancy app on my phone chimed a lovely noise reminding me that we have met yet another long anticipated milestone in this pregnancy. We are officially at 40 weeks! And baby boy Collins is still baking away! He is definitely enjoying his time in hotel uterus and getting the spa treatment. I joked this morning with Dusty that he is the perfect storm of both of our personalities. Always late like his mom…and totally content like his dad – making for a babe that doesn't mind staying cozy and comfy for a little longer. 

Last week there had been concern that my blood pressure was a little high (in actuality it was a little high because I was nervous to get "checked" for the first time) I told Dusty before we walked in "Watch my blood pressure will be high today. I am feeling some anxiety." and sure enough, my blood pressure was a little high and I had some slight trace amounts of protein in my urine which made our Dr  propose the thought that I get induced on or around my due date. She sent me to the lab for some extra blood work and a 24 hour urine sample (that was totally weird and not fun – TMI – but you basically pee and store it in a jug for 24 hours, so weird)….anyways, my next appointment about 5 days later went great.  My 24-hour urine test came back fine, blood work came back great, and we did a non-stress test and baby boy is doing wonderful (super wiggly)! So we had to scratch the induction idea for this week – which was bittersweet …I think Dusty and I had got our emotions wrapped around the possible outcome that we were going to meet our little guy this week and have him in our arms soon. Which could still be the case if he decides to come on his own in the next day or two…but there is also the possibility that he wants to stay put another week or so longer. And so we wait! 

For the last week and now the past handful of days leading up to his due date, I have felt the need to have "control" over the situation…"It's my body – I should have control of it!" (that has been my mindset). But in reality, my body knows what it's doing despite what my emotions and time are trying to convince it to do. I've had to really TRUST in the timing of everything and let it go (cue the Frozen song). It gives me some peace to know that many women experience going over their due date…and that a due date is just an estimation on when the baby could make an appearance. I've solicited a lot of advice and have prepared myself for natural interventions I can try at home to induce labor pineapple, acupuncture, massage, walks, climbing stairs, bouncing on a ball, spicy food, sex, red leaf tea, castor oil, and the list goes on and on and on…I know the options, I've learned them, studied them, talked about them over and over with Dusty…and what I've come down to deciding in these final days…is to do absolutely nothing….for now. Yep, that's right. Talk about giving up control completely. Yes, Dusty and I still walk the dogs each evening like we always have, I do have some pineapple in the fridge I keep snacking on…but all-in-all…I am just waiting. And it feels really really really good to just choose that option for the time being. In a way, it is my way of saying "alright body, alright baby boy, alright God…you guys work your magic and let me know when you're ready….when you're ready I'll be ready." 

I am also not new to the idea of giving up control. You may recall our miscarriage story and how trusting that this pregnancy would be successful and safe… took a lot of faith. I've also been focusing on how my internal feelings and emotions and thoughts can play into how my baby feels. The crazy thing about being pregnant is that I swear a lot of my feelings and emotions trigger a response in our little boy…and I want him to sense and feel the trust I have in God. I want to channel that strength into his little body. I want him (baby) to know that coming into the world on the time he and God have agreed upon is OK…God has had his hand in this little miracle since day one. I can't deny that. I've felt His reassurance in so many beautiful ways throughout this pregnancy…and now is not the time to stray from trusting in that.

I am also aware that being overdue could also cause the need for medicated induction. And to be honest, as long as induction is the best option for a healthy baby…I'm all good with it. My goal is to get him into this world safe and sound…I trust our doctors and the gifts of modern medicine. I trust my body. And I trust the plan God has in this process. So, however this plays out…we are ready. 

Wish us luck – your prayers and good thoughts are always appreciated as we wait. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. – Psalm 139: 13-15

Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast. From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God. – Psalm 22: 9-10